10. Nothin’ But a Good Time

That Saturday, we got lucky as far as the weather. The forecast called for rain on and off. We did get some rain in the early evening, but most of it had moved on before the party, and we were left with a very pretty sky and mild temperatures. My family and I arrived to Roger’s house within 30 minutes after the official start time. I wanted to be sure that Patrick arrived ahead of me (we had agreed we’d feel most comfortable together…or maybe that was just me?). I also hoped that it meant that I/we wouldn’t be some of the first few to arrive. I wasn’t prepared for that.

Derek parked the car in front of Roger’s house. I gave my kids one more pep talk and reminder about manners and social conversations, and we walked around to the back. As we walked, a feeling was building in me that I wasn’t familiar with, nor was I prepared for. Not having experience with it, I can only guess it was heightened anxiety? My heart was racing, and I felt like my breathing pattern wasn’t quite normal. I wasn’t really shaking exactly…but I felt “quiver-y” if that makes sense? Like head to toe. So much so that I felt a little bit weak, as if my knees might buckle so I just kept walking. This feeling came on really quickly, as the walk was only around the corner of a house.

We got to the back patio, and I saw a big white tent over several tables and chairs. There were a few people under the tent that I didn’t recognize. Beyond the tent was a smaller patio area with an umbrella table and chairs, and more people seated and standing around it where I started to recognize some faces as I headed over. Patrick was at the far end of that area, and I was absolutely headed his way. Just as I came up the couple of steps to that small patio, though, I was greeted by Roger’s wife. She came right up to me, rested her hand on both my arms, and looked me right in the eye and gave me a big smile. “I’m Roger’s wife, Tricia. What can I get you to DRINK?!”

I’ve told her this since then, but I will NEVER forget that moment. I can’t speak for her thoughts or intentions. But, at that moment, it felt like she was saying “I see you. This whole thing has to be crazy and emotional and difficult, but I see that and I see you, and let me help.” I loved her for it. I took a much needed deep breath, and thanked her. Just water for now, please. I knew I needed to speak to people and wanted to keep a very clear head.

I’m sure I won’t get the rest of the evening in time order, but it doesn’t matter. The memories are the same. I met ALL Lori’s surviving siblings that night. Roger, Susan, and Jack were there. But I also met their sister Carol, and brothers Brian and Dan. Carol and Dan were both very warm and kind, and I had brief conversations with each of them. Nothing too deep or significant, but they expressed that they were glad to meet me and they were happy that I was there. I got to speak briefly with Carol’s husband Ron, too. He was so sweet-but when we met, he was holding one of the new babies in the family so we didn’t talk for long. I do remember more detail about when Brian arrived. I recognized him and his wife, Linda, from photos. Bridget and I may have done a little Facebook snooping 🙂

Brian came right up to me and we had one of those awkward handshake vs hug, nobody-knows-what-to-do moments and sort of laughed it off. He had some things to bring in, so I let him take care of that. Once he was settled, though, he came back to me. He said, “I know that was awkward over there, but we can hug, right?” Of course we could. Ok…so you need to know that I’m taking an actual pause right now remembering this moment. It was so sweet and kind and tender, and I felt very loved and cared for. Brian is a big, tall guy, and has a big hug. And I felt love for this man I had just met, but who is my uncle (very similar to how I was feeling the day I met Jack). We talked for a while. Brian told me that he saw Lori in me, and when he spoke of her, tears welled in his eyes. It was clear to me, again, how much she was and is missed. We moved on to other topics and he asked what I do for a living. When I told him I’m a nurse, he said that Linda was too. Not long after that, we discovered that she and I almost worked together! We did work in the same department. She was there in the early 90’s and left when her babies were born. I was there 1996-2001, and she came back after I had left. We know so many mutual friends/coworkers. So crazy that our paths almost crossed.

After the first hour or so, dinner was served. There was smoked BBQ brisket and wings, and several delicious sides. After dinner, Derek dropped the kids off at home and came back. By then, I was feeling much more relaxed. Roger and I were able to talk a while. Turns out, he and I share a similar love and taste for music. I couldn’t stop complimenting him on his playlist! I always love it when I go somewhere and hear songs that I love, but rarely get to hear…and he had tons of those. It was nice to just get to talk to him about “stuff”.

When Derek got back, we joined Patrick and Heather under the tent. This is where most of the cousins were hanging out. It was surreal, and it was awesome. Cousins…LOTS of them. And I knew that there were many more who weren’t able to be there. I grew up in a very small family. I have four cousins. Total. Two on my mom’s side, and two on my dad’s. So, this was crazy. Additionally, I’m now the oldest cousin in Lori’s family, with Patrick just behind me by a couple of years. Derek and I spent a little time hanging with Patrick and Heather first. I’ll never, ever, be able to express how funny this guy is, and how much fun…so I’ll just keep telling you. Heather is so great, too. She is such a happy, bright light. They’re just amazing and we really enjoyed spending time with them. Eventually we moved on and took seats with the other cousins. We had all made introductions earlier, but I needed to re-introduce myself. Not so much for them, but to review their names for my own memory. I knew it would take a while to remember each one, and which one belonged to which aunt/uncle. At one point, I remember looking behind me and seeing the aunts and uncles who were still there (it was getting later by then) sitting together. Then, I looked back at the group we were sitting in, and I kind of laughed and said something about it feeling like we were at the Thanksgiving “kids’ table”. 🙂

I don’t remember what time it was when we left. I know it was late, and I know that I hated that it was over. More than one person assured us that it wouldn’t be the last time we got together. But some nights are just so good that you hate for them to end, and this night…as uncertain as it started…turned out to be one of the great ones. Thanks, Roger and Tricia, for hosting. And thanks to the rest of the family for the really good time.

The next day, Heather and Patrick headed back home. I dropped them at the airport, and went home to get ready for the work week. It was going to be a big week, I just didn’t know it yet.