8. It’s a girl!

This journey has been unbelievably full of every emotion. There’s one particular day/piece that was just really happy and funny and I’ll enjoy telling and remembering it. When we get there, that will explain this post’s heading. (I’d insert a smiley face here but this is a no emoji kind of site)

On the morning of May 30, I got an email from the state Capitol. My contact, Lisa, said that she had ordered my original birth certificate and would be picking it up that day. She had received the order from my county of residence to conduct the search for my birth parents. She also believed that she had identified my birth mother from records, but needed to compare that name to the birth certificate. I was welcome to call her to discuss this.

Of course I called right away, and left a voicemail. Then the texts flew between Bridget and me. I was excited, and something else…anxious? I don’t know. It wasn’t nervous, but I was definitely on edge waiting for her call. That day I was headed to a golf outing for our parish, and I told Bridget I was afraid to shower and miss the call! Before I left the house for the golf course, I had told Bridget AGAIN that I just knew it was Lori. I knew it. She said, “I just keep thinking about how Lori was the vessel to make your parents’ dreams come true. That is so awesome”. She was right. I told her, “She was. And if they don’t have me, I never meet Derek, and my three kids are never born. She was an angel.”

By the time I did get the call from the Capitol, the golf outing was under way and I was one of four members of the annual “Tee Party” foursome. It’s one of the most fun days every year. When the phone rang, we MAY have already been a few beers into the day. (Insert emoji of choice here) I stepped away for a minute, and spoke to Lisa. She was able to confirm that Lori’s name was listed as my birth mother, and that there was no birth father on the birth certificate. She did mention that his name was on “other documents” which would be released to me if the judge signed off on the order. Wow. OK. I thanked her and went back to the ladies who were waiting for me.

“It’s a GIRL!!!”, I yelled…and we all just fell apart laughing. It was funny for the rest of the afternoon, including birth stats like 5’6″, one hundred and xx pounds (I didn’t say it that day and I’m certainly not broadcasting it here) We even enjoyed a round of pink jell-o shots. It was a happy, happy time. I really felt that things were falling into place. I was right about Lori, now I just had to wait to get my hands on what I needed to prove it.

The next morning Bridget and I were back in touch. I had, of course, told her what Lisa had confirmed from the Capitol. She wanted to know more. What were we to expect? I explained that Lisa told me that she would be sending my petition back to my county of residence, along an affidavit. It would include all of the information I had provided about the vascular disease in Lori’s family, and the need for testing for me and my kids. It would go to a family court judge, and he/she would decide from there.

I’m not an anxious person by nature, but this did make me a little nervous. I really believed I had justification for release of my records. But now, the whole thing rested on the decision of one person. Who was it? What were their personal feelings/experiences, and how would it affect their decision in this case?

Out of nowhere, Bridget said, “My friend is seeing the judge tomorrow. He’ll speak to him on your behalf.” WHAT?? This is the first mention that she has any connection within the courthouse. What the HECK. She was very casual about it. “Yeah, he said it may take a while, family court is slow, but he works with this judge daily. He says you’ve done everything right and doesn’t see why you’d be denied. It’s my friend Michael, the undercover narc cop. He’ll call me after he talks to the judge.”

“Wait. BETH’S husband???” He was. Is. Beth is Bridget’s friend. I knew exactly who she was because together they’re investigating a local child’s cold case murder from 1971 and I’ve been reading HER blog. She’s also a teacher at my kids’ school. Crazy. OK. So he’s going to bat for me with the judge. I told Bridget that I’d put a call in to Lindsey at the clerk’s office to watch for that affidavit, and ask her to please hustle it to the judge as soon as it arrives. (She did do this for me, and hand delivered it to him when it came)

While I was back and forth with Bridget, I had also sent a text out to Susan. I was a little afraid to move forward without “hard” evidence, but after that call from Lisa, I wanted so much to tell her about the birth certificate. I didn’t know whether I’d ever get a copy, so I wanted to share what was on it. She texted right back and said she could take the call.

Making that call was more difficult than I anticipated at first. I was a nervous wreck. I remembered that, a few weeks back, she had told me that if my journey brought me back to them, they would welcome it. I held onto that, but you just never know how anyone will react in any situation, and this was big. I was literally shaking when she picked up the phone. Anyway, I got to the point pretty quickly. I told her about the “Infant Girl ___” on the pre- adoption papers, and the verbal confirmation of Lori’s name on my birth certificate. There was a very brief pause, and honestly I don’t remember her exact words. What I do remember is that she was so very kind. Also, while she did continue to express her confusion at how her sister managed to pull this off with no one knowing, she did say that she was very happy to know that this was the result. There were a few questions, most of which I couldn’t answer (like, about the birth father). We both agreed that we were anxious to hear what the judge would have to say, and hoping for a full release of records. In the meantime, she would communicate this update to Roger and the rest of the siblings.

After we finished our conversation, I felt like I wanted to reach out to Roger. The family party was now one week away. On my end, I really felt like I was getting enough answers to demonstrate that I was Lori’s baby. It was just a matter of time before there were papers. But the state confirmed it, right?? So, I just sent a little note to say that I felt like I should check in, in light of the latest update. I wanted to let him know that I was really happy about it all.

At 5:29pm on May 31, he responded. (It may seem unnecessary to time stamp- but there was SO MUCH going on in really small periods of time. Just trying to demonstrate that) Anyway, he said “I am [happy] too Carrie. I hope you understand my pushback earlier. It had nothing to do with you personally. I’m still stunned that Lori managed to keep a pregnancy secret from all of us. It just blows my mind. But I can assure you, we are all excited to welcome you into the family”.

Insert red heart emoji right here.