20. Thankful

Yesterday, our two boys had their procedures to embolize the AVMs in their lungs- just as I did last November. Connor had one in his lower left lung. Brady had two- one in his upper right, and one in his lower right lung.

They were scheduled to have this done last March, the week that the OR closed for emergencies only, due to COVID-19. It’s been a long few months, waiting and praying that we all stayed healthy coming up to yesterday.

We arrived at Cincinnati Children’s at 6am, and we (Derek and I, plus the boys) all said in the car that we felt good and were ready for the day. I had prepared them as much as I could for what to expect.

Checking in is a busy time, which was good, and distracting. My bestie, Shannon, took care of us in Same Day Surgery.

Of course it was good to have her, and in addition we were surrounded by all the faces of my sweet and caring co-workers. Dr. Patel came to speak to us, too. He explained the procedures in simple terms to the boys, and answered a couple of their questions. Then I signed consents. Shannon got their IVs started, anesthesia came to see them, and before long it was time for Connor to go.

My buddy Nick was Connor’s Nurse Anesthetist (same guy who took care of me, along with attending Anesthesiologist Paul), and he gave Connor a little sedation in Same Day before they transported to OR. That medicine works quick. I was ready for Connor to be a little silly and giggly- but he wasn’t. He just got drowsy and said he was dizzy. And got kind of quiet. And then it all just got a little too real for me.

I just kissed his cheeks and forehead, and told him how much we loved him, and how these people were going to take SUCH good care of him. He nodded, with a very heavy head, and tried hard to give me a smile but he was so sleepy already. It was time to go. I’m telling you right now- if Brady wasn’t sitting right behind me I’d have fallen apart. It took all I had to hold it together for him.

I do that job every week. Shannon and I work together and are in the same role. I watch kids go to the OR all the time. My own kids have had tonsils out. This was different. It felt like a much bigger deal, and the potential dangers just felt…crushing.

So we waited. Not long after he went to OR, Shannon was back to finish getting Brady ready. More distraction, and that helped. Then Christin (the same OR nurse who took care of me) called to say Connor’s case was underway and all was well. Good.

Once Brady was ready to go, we did have maybe 1.5 hours of downtime. Derek and I took turns getting coffee, Brady watched part of a movie, and I did some more praying. Christin called again while I was out for coffee to say that the team had located Connor’s AVM and they were embolizing. More prayers.

It didn’t seem like much longer, and I had walked out in the hall to talk to my coworkers, and looked up to see Drs Patel and Ristagno coming toward me, eyes smiling behind masks. “We’re done.”, he said. We walked back to our room to talk about it and I couldn’t hold my emotions any longer. These two had just saved my baby. There’s no way to describe how that feels.

Within about 30 minutes the team arrived to get Brady. He was very giggly after his sedation which was so cute! It was also very helpful to my heart to send him off that way. Luckily by then Connor was ready for us in PACU (recovery). We went right to him and I’ll never forget seeing his sweet sleeping angel face. Ok. One safe. One to go.

After a while, Connor was transported to his inpatient room as we would be spending the night. He was still sleepy but doing well, and starting to sip on water and Gatorade. I also had gotten the calls that Brady’s case had started and that they were embolizing.

We all ordered up some lunch. I didn’t feel like eating but knew I needed to. I updated friends and family by text and we waited. Brady’s case took a little longer, because he had two AVMs. Going in, Dr Patel told me they weren’t sure if they’d be able to locate and treat the smaller one, but that the larger one was the priority.

At 1:26pm, my phone rang. It was Dr Patel. They were finished. He and Dr Ristagno would come to Connor’s room to speak to us. On his way over, he texted me images of Brady’s lung. I couldn’t believe it. It looked like they got them both?! Could we be this lucky?

They walked in, and again, he said, very casually (as he always does) “We’re done.” I asked, “Did you get them both?!”

Him: “Yep.”

And the tears flowed again. I just can’t with these two guys. They just stand there like it’s the most regular thing…but they just SAVED MY BABIES. These things we didn’t even know we had most certainly could have taken their lives one day and they just fixed them.

Until the end of my life, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why I’ve been granted miracles on miracles, but I have. And I’m so thankful.

After I had updated all the texts, I turned to Derek and just hugged him and cried some more. Connor just watched and smiled ☺️ Then I went to meet Brady in PACU until he came to his room, right across the hall from Connor’s.

They spent the evening eating dinner and watching NBA basketball. Derek stayed with Brady and I stayed with Connor. Connor and I watched a movie and we were asleep by 9 pm, totally exhausted but so happy.

I got up before 6 this morning to get myself cleaned up, knowing the docs usually make rounds early. I’ve been sitting here writing this entry, and there was some noise in the hallway that woke Connor but I didn’t realize it. From across the room, I heard a small voice say…”Happy Birthday, mom.”

And I’m crying again. I am so lucky to be the momma to these boys. To their big sister, too. He’s right. Today is my birthday and what I got yesterday is the BEST gift. The best.

I’ll never, ever have the words for Drs Patel and Ristagno. They just don’t exist. ❤️